Does your child act like a night time monster who doesn’t know what sleep is?
Trust me, I have gone that road. It’s painful and time-consuming.
If your child doesn’t have an underlying medical condition, you are more or less responsible for the trouble.
Yes, that’s true.
Making your child sleep through the night is more about teaching him to sleep independently rather than trying every technique and advice under the sun.
I will talk to you through the things where parents actually go wrong and how to make your child sleep the right way.
Keep reading!!
Where Does it Go Wrong?
I wish someone told me the right way to do it. All those sleepless nights could have been avoided. But here I am telling you what to do!
The most crucial part of knowing is what not to do. Research says bedtime and independent sleeping are primary determinants for a child to sleep through the night.
As parents, we tend to care too much. We think our toddler needs more of us, and that’s the reason we try to soothe them a lot before sleep and even between sleep.
If you are co-sleeping, you are making it even worse. Co-sleeping can cause more waking up and going to bed later. It can be tempting, but that’s where every parent goes wrong.
You need to develop an independent sleeping habit for your kid. Parents who encourage kids to sleep on their own and decrease interaction during sleeping will likely encounter fewer issues and see their kid sleeping through the night.
7 Ways You Can Keep a Toddler Asleep in Their Own Bed
1- Get Rid of All Things That Promote Dependability
Staying beside your kid until he falls asleep is an act every parent is guilty of. It’s a form of love we develop right after the baby comes to the world. But over time, your child will become dependent on that. So, he can’t sleep on his own.
Most parents love to cuddle or rock their child to make him feel sleepy. Switch that routine of cuddling and rocking to day time. Do that to show love alone and not to make him sleep.
Make sure he is well fed before sleep. If you make him used to night time feeds, he will wake up again and again, even if he isn’t hungry. That’s just a bad habit that will make your life harder.
The same goes for breastfeeding or bottle feeding. I did that. I used to bottle feed my toddler to sleep. So, a time came when he wasn’t hungry or thirsty, but without the bottle and me, he wouldn’t sleep.
Try to create an independent routine where sleep is the main motivator and not anything else.
2- Make the Room Suitable for Sleeping
Whether you get everything right or not, if the toddler room isn’t suitable for sleeping, there will always be problems. Here’s what you can do:
- Safe & cozy bed: If your child has outgrown the crib, slowly transition him to a toddler twin bed. Cramming for space isn’t great for sleep. He needs to have enough space to feel comfortable. Installing a guard rail will make him feel safe, and that will make the transition smooth.
- Right room temperature: The cooler a room is, the better the sleep. That’s a general rule that many parents don’t care about. According to experts, a room with a 60-67 F temperature is the most suitable for sleeping. Install an AC if the weather of your region is too hot.
- Keep it dark and quiet: There should be absolutely no devices or things that emit light in your kid’s room. LED lights inside modern devices all emit blue lights that can impact the sleep cycle. If your child needs a nightlight, put it behind curtains or a piece of furniture. For minimizing outside noise, you can use a white noise emitter. This will cancel out all other noises and keep it quiet.
3- Dealing With Waking up in the Middle of Sleep
Waking up at night is common for kids. If getting them to sleep is the most essential part, handling waking in the middle of sleep is the second most important thing to do.
If you get this part wrong, nothing else matters.
If you hear your kid crying or see in the baby monitor that he is awake, don’t rush to him. A 30-45 minute waiting time is the best thing you could do to train him into sleeping independently.
If he falls asleep within that timeframe, then you do nothing. If he is still awake or crying, let him be. Then go to his room and assure him in the mildest way possible. If you follow this for a few days, your child will get used to sleeping with less support.
Sometimes, he can come running to your room. Don’t talk with him or make too much eye contact with him. Keep it simple and silent. Take him back to his room.
Note: You should understand whether the crying is an extreme one or just the usual one and take steps accordingly.
4- Letting Him Know Your Expectations
Two methods always work. At least they worked for me. Even if they don’t work immediately, your child will react positively to sleep in the long run.
Talk with him: This is what I did with my 4-year-old. I sat with him. Then I talked with him about sleeping. I asked him what he didn’t like and liked about sleeping. As the conversation moved forward, I let him know that it was good for him to sleep. I didn’t command him nor overpower him. It was a gentle approach, and the main objective was to make him know how happy I was if he slept through the night.
Use a visual representation of what you want: A friend of mine recommended this technique. And..it was an instant hit. Better than the talking method. Children respond better to visuals. I made a chart with drawings illustrating different elements of our bedtime routine. So, whenever we made past an element, I would show him the next one. This worked, and he almost memorized it and knew what he needed to do every step.
5- Create a Need for Sleeping
How do you create a need to sleep? There are two things you can do. Keep them awake longer up to the night time sleep and get them to exercise to feel tired enough to sleep.
In general, your child will need at least a 5-hour awake time to build sleep pressure. You will need to plan the day and evening carefully. The morning and evening sleeping routine should be such that he gets an equal amount of waking time. So, when the clock turns 11, his body should be ready to fall asleep.
Children play naturally. If your kid is a bit of a shy kind, engage with him. This will make him tired physically and also mentally. You can provide puzzles, buy a new scooter, or visit the local park. A tired child will be more likely to sleep through the night than an over-energetic kid.
6- Limit Any Changes in Routine
You need to figure out a bedtime routine for your child. It should involve little tasks that will finally build up to bed. The length of the routine could be 30-35 minutes.
The best thing is to work with your kid to make his choices. So, if the routine involves bathing, you can let him choose what soap flavor he wants. If it requires reading, let him choose the book he wants you to read.
This routine should be fixed, and you should eliminate any extra activities or changes in those activities. Sometimes a change of bed or room can disrupt the routine. If you think staying beside his bed would be good, it’s wrong. It will disturb the routine.
If you have something to do in that time frame, do it later or earlier. Once your child gets used to the routine tasks, he will know when he needs to sleep.
7- Reassure but in a mild way
Promoting independent sleep doesn’t mean you don’t have to reassure your child when he becomes frightened or have trouble sleeping. But the process should be low-key and mild enough to avoid dependability.
When you return to him in the middle of the night, don’t try to hug him or sleep beside him. Limit the words to just “it’s okay,” “you will be fine,” or “we all are here” something like that and nothing more. Give a pat on the back and return to your room.
There’s a particular method I followed to check everything is okay with my kid. So, after I tell him goodnight, I wait 5-10 minutes, and then I go again to check on him. If he’s sleeping, that’s good. If he isn’t, I will reassure him with gentle words and how great the morning is going to be. Then 10-15 minutes later, I return again and use the same approach.
Final Reports…
Remember, the whole idea is to make your child sleep with as little support as possible. Show as much care as you want during the day and stick with the bedtime routine at night. If you follow these techniques, your kid should be able to sleep through the night on his own and in his own bed.